The Server's Lament 4TOP (canvas outlet wrap)

Doesn't this just say it all? In two sizes.

100% Cotton fabric :: Closed Back :: Build with a patented solid support face :: For indoor use

The Server's Lament: Riffing off of the iconic New York City take out paper cup, tag along for the server's side of the equation.

"PLAY NICE" we state under our breath as we approach the new table where you sit in our section. This is an edict both for ourselves and for you, if only you would listen. [Dude, come on!]

"Are We Happy To Serve You?" borders on the sarcastic as we discover you are a bigger pain in the ass than we had hoped and more than you know. Reminder: If you acknowledge that your off-beat request makes our job more difficult, it will go a long way to engendering patience on our part. [Okay, I confess, totally sarcastic. But I was willing to meet you halfway, Karen.]

"Maybe I'm Having A Bad Day" we plead for your understanding. We are people too, going through our days with burdens, worries and concerns, but we hide our human side and focus on ensuring a good dining experience for you. But, if you knew what's going on behind our facade (and mask) we hope you would remember that it doesn't cost anything to be kind. [This is all true. It is also possible that I stayed up too late drinking with the kitchen staff and are hungover today, but STILL, WE ARE PEOPLE TOO!]

"F*CK OFF" is the last resort. We do not start here. This sentiment builds brick by inconsiderate, rude, nasty brick and leaves us screaming inside or crying in the walk-in. But a good outlet "F*CK OFF" is also a desperate palate cleanser, sending you with an imagined kick out of the door. And without taking a beat we turn, pull our shoulders back, lift our chin a smidge and smile as the next table sits down. [Shit! I haven't peed since my shift started…]